Day, I have no idea, of our pandemic. We’re holding together as well as can be expected. Adjusting to some of the nuances of Covid life. Everything outside of the home is slowing down, or stopped all together, and simple tasks have become more tedious or straight undoable.
For example,
Last Sunday, it was nice out, so I figured I’d run a few quick necessary errands and do a little house work. Our back storm door is broken and can be pushed open with a strong fart. Stop number one was to the “Drug Store” for my wife’s prescription and some baby wipes. No baby wipes. Not a big deal, I’ll just go to the supermarket. . . nope. . . they’re out. Okay, maybe the dollar store has a few small packs? OF COURSE THEY DON’T!
Fine, fine, I’ve wasted enough time, let’s go to The Home Depot for the door. They’ve limited the number of people allowed in the store at one time. I mean, I get it, I really do, but the wait to get in was going to 1 hour or more. So I resigned to the fact that the trip was almost a complete waste of time.
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| I mean, how badass is this album cover? |
I’m pretty heated at this point, but I know what calms me down. Some metal blaring out of my Hyundai. Let’s hear some of those growls loud enough to shake the fine Korean plastics right off of my hot ass whip. I plug my phone into the car. NICE! I obnoxiously blare my music. DOUBLE NICE! I get home, and when I unplug my phone, the jack breaks off inside of my phone’s headphone jack. TRIPLE NI. . . WAIT! NO! NOT NICE AT ALL!
So here I am. My precious phone can play no sound, doesn’t ring, and I need a speaker phone, or a bluetooth headset to speak to anyone. Just the right way to end a wonderfully frustrating day.
Update: New phone on the way. I’m giving in and joining the iphone world. . . Got a decent price on a used one.
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| A good fort is necessary during the apocalypse. |
Life in the home has been. . . something. I think the easiest way to sum it up is with an actual conversation between my daughter, Avari, and wife, Tara, while having some wonderful homeschool adventures.
Tara: I explain what she has to do. . .
Avari: (Heavy Eye Roll) “okaaayyy!!!”
Tara: Tell her again to start.
Avari: (Blankly stares into space)
Tara: “Pick up your pencil. . .”
Avari: “Ugghhh!!! Can I at least have a snack and a drink?!? I’m Starving!
Note: She just ate breakfast fifteen minutes prior. . .
Tara: “You can eat when you finish this. . . Start writing!”
Avari: (Writes her name) “Why do I have to do this right now?”
Tara: “You know the answer to that. . . You ask everyday, and I tell you everyday!”
Avari: (Starting to cry now) “Ughhhhhh wwwhhhyyy?”
Tara: Okay. . . finish your daily cry. Done yet?
Avari: (Obviously still crying) “I’m not crying!”
Tara: “Oh okay. . .I’m sorry. I must have been mistaken, my bad. Please, keep writing.”
Avari: (Blankly stares into space)
Tara: “Avi?”
Avari: (Now looking annoyed, like I interrupted her, finally writes a sentence) “I’ll be right back, I have to pee!”
Tara: “Of course you do my dear, please go ahead.”
Avari: (Skips away happily)
Tara: (Patiently waiting) “You’ve been in there for five minutes. . . your bladder empty yet?”
Avari: “Almost!” (A minute later the toilet flushes and the water turns on. After running for at least three minutes, I hear the bathroom door open and close, but she never comes back.)
Tara: “Where are you!?!?
Avari: “Right here!” (She slinks around the corner with a sly grin on her face.)
Tara: “Okay. . .are you good now? Come and get this done please.”
Avari: (Writes two words) “Mommy, can I see what it’s like to be a cat for the day?
Now, I don’t know how the rest of their day went, but when I got home, Avi had a cat ear headband on, and whiskers painted on her face.
If that doesn’t encapsulate the atmosphere of our home at this time, I don’t know what will. . .
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The Girls Had A Drive-In Night
