Whoa! Long time no talkie!
I know you were dying to know where I went. . .
Your loins, just quivering in anticipation, waiting for my next entry.
The truth is, I started to feel a little overwhelmed with everything happening in life, and decided that things needed to be simplified for a little bit.
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Probably the most exciting thing was when my wife pissed all over herself and the bathroom floor! You must understand, I was on the phone with her at the time, and this is a close approximation of what I heard. . .
Tara (on the toilet): Can you stop by Target on your way ho. . .OHMAIGAWD A HUGE SPIDER JUST DROPPED DOWN IN FRONT OF MY FACE! What do I do? It’s on the floor! THERE’S PEE EVERYWHERE!
Me (laughing uncontrollably): What do you mean pee everywhere?
Tara: Adammmmmm, help! It’s a tarantula! I got scared and jumped up while I was peeing and now there’s piss on the floor and all over my pants!
Me: What do you want me to do?
Tara (now crying): HELP! It went under the sink. Is it going to get me? I have to clean the pee and there’s a giant tarantula in here!
I wish I could relive that moment again daily for the rest of my life. It’s a small miracle I didn’t wreck my car from the uncontrollable laughter.
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How’s the rest of my whole fam damily?
Well, my hobbit level of love friends, we’re still enjoying the “Happy, Fun Quarantine Time” event. Avari has officially finished the second grade through distanced learning! And, I’ll tell you what, Tara and I are thrilled that it’s over. The poor child was miserable having to sit at her desk daily, just plugging away at her work. Meanwhile, the weather is getting nice and warm, and the pool is just calling her name, but she can’t go in. What it led to was a whole bunch of arguments and a black cloud hanging over our household on an almost daily basis.
But what’s next?
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The word came down from high above, I’m assuming straight from God’s puckered lips. Schools WILL be opening in September. It looks like it will be a rotating two then three days per week system, with online learning the days kids aren’t in class. That way, they can maintain a better controlled social distancing program. There’s also, the opportunity to do “distanced” learning only.
Our family’s predicament is that Avari has Juvenile Arthritis and the medication she takes lowers her immune system’s ability to fight infection. So, for her, it seems like the immediate action to take would be distanced learning all the way. However, she also craves and needs social interaction.
Back to the other side. She attends Catholic school, and another school of the Catholic persuasion announced it’s closure the other day, so the class size is bound to go up, thus becoming more dangerous.
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| It’ll be a shame to miss out on these ‘tudes. |
There’s also the issue of tuition. Cost to attend the school has only gone up. Even with not physically attending the school, we’re expected to pay the same amount as families whose children have their literal butts in seats. At what point is it just as beneficial to pull our daughter from the private schools and have her learn remotely through the public schools, or possibly home schooling?
It’s a tough decision, and we’re already being pressured to make a choice by the administration. Which is pure, unadulterated malarkey. We are yet to be given any specifics about how the classrooms will be functioning.
How many children will be in class?
Will there be specials such as gym or recess for the kids to get exercise?
Will they be cooped up in the classroom for the entire day?
Will masks be worn all day, or just when they can’t stay six feet apart?
Who possibly thinks they can convince a third grader to be courteous, wear a mask all day, and wash regularly for an entire day?
I already cough on my hands and chase my wife through the house with my “Covid fingers”. I can’t imagine what a child would do for the sake of some immature fun.
I guess we’re going to just have to roll with it as it comes.
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This weekend will be a test. The family is going to attempt a short beach vacation! Watch out ladies, this sexy beer belly bod is going to be on full display!
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Prepare yourselves ladies. . .
